Choose for fit, not fame
Look for someone who understands your situation, can listen without taking over and has the time to follow through. Playing experience may provide perspective; it does not automatically prove someone can mentor, teach or work appropriately with children.
Seven questions before you commit
- What experience do you have with athletes at my stage, and what falls outside your expertise?
- How do you help an athlete choose their own goals?
- What does a typical month include, and how do we know whether it is useful?
- How do you communicate between meetings, and who can see those messages?
- For minors, what screening, training, guardian involvement and safeguarding procedures apply?
- What are the full costs, cancellation terms and any referral incentives?
- Who handles concerns, and how can we end or change the match?
Ask for an example, not a promise
Try: “An athlete is upset about playing time. How would you handle the first conversation?” A thoughtful answer should involve listening, understanding the situation and helping the athlete plan an appropriate conversation. Be cautious if the mentor immediately blames the coach, promises influence or insists on taking over.
Where appropriate, request references through the program without seeking private details about other athletes. Check qualifications with the issuing organization when those qualifications matter to the service offered.
Reasons to pause or walk away
- Requests to keep the relationship or messages secret from a guardian or program.
- Pressure to buy immediately, escalating unexplained fees or guaranteed scholarships.
- Unwanted contact, degrading treatment or disregard for an athlete’s stated boundaries.
- Advice to hide injuries or ignore qualified medical guidance.
- A demand for exclusive loyalty or an attempt to isolate the athlete from trusted support.
A strong score in other areas does not cancel a safety concern. Stop the interaction and use the program’s safeguarding or reporting process when needed. The parents’ guide explains how to keep support visible.
Agree the relationship in writing
Record the goal, meeting schedule, communication channels, costs, privacy limits, guardian involvement where relevant, concern-reporting route and review date. Keep the agreement simple enough that the athlete can explain it. Use the first-month planner to organize the next steps.